Fellow Men: For the last several days on television, have advertisers been firing arrows at your brain, hoping you’ll buy their products? After all, you don’t want to be “that guy” that buys something lame, or worse, nothing at all.
One says skip the candy, because she’ll ask if she looks fat. Another says skip the flowers, because they die in a few days. What’s a guy to do when these companies are marketing directly at you mind, hoping to convince you to spend your money on their product, and telling you that doing so is the surefire way to get through Valentine’s Day unscathed.
These 4 advertisers seem to be spending lots of marketing budget doing just that.
1) Vermont Giant Teddy Bear – For only $99 you can give her a 4-foot tall teddy bear that “she will love because it will remind her of you when you’re not there.” The funniest part of this TV commercial is when the man is getting his hug and mouths (to the camera) in slow motion, “Oh yeah…” But ask yourself if this kind of gift really makes sense. Don’t believe the marketing hype. It’s not the size of the gift. It’s what thought you put into it. Chances are this will go over with more of a quizzical look that the same elated face as the actress on the commercial.
2) ProFlowers – It’s hard to go too wrong with flowers, but wouldn’t it be better to go pick them out yourself, than to order off the internet? Besides, if you don’t know what flower your lady likes, shouldn’t you find out first? So make a note to ask her randomly this June and make a note of it. Then you’ll be prepared for next year.
3) 800-Flowers – Originally set up for phone orders, these folks contract with local flower delivery shops. Word to the wise… they local shops don’t always deliver what’s ordered, sometimes different, sometimes smaller. Buyer beware.
4) Pajamagram – Adult HoodieFootie purveyor. Really? You should really watch this commercial multiple times and break it down. Analyze it. They are appealing to your… let’s be honest here… hope that there will be some intimate times soon to follow. If that doesn’t set off your alarm bells that you’re being targeted as a sucker consumer, I don’t know what will. If you’re going this route, go with a gift card to a store that sells similar items and let her pick out what she wants, not what you want.
These advertisers’ arrows are aimed directly at your brain because they know that men are notoriously bad at Valentine’s Day, or at least are highly self-conscious about it, and we tend to either be oblivious to that fact, or aware and anxious that we’ll get it wrong. But you don’t need those ads… the secret is not that complicated.
Pay attention to her all year so you know what she likes, change it up a little bit every year, and never ever forget to include a card that expresses how you feel about her. And it never hurts to start the day off with breakfast, or at least, all of last night’s dishes clean.
“…be intoxicated always in her love.” — Proverbs 5:19
Do you think you have better plans than falling for a TV ad?